10 Weeks

Well so much for that crazy roller coaster being done, we are still riding and just trying to stay positive. After the last post about our ER visit, I layed around all weekend and totally stopped spotting and everything seemed to be fine. A week goes by and we get to Father's Day when I wake up with quite a bit of spotting. The on-call Dr is not worried at all and said if it continues to call my OB on Monday. So Monday morning I gave Dr Cueto a call and he also was not concerned, but I asked him to order an ultrasound anyway since it would put my mind at ease. Tuesday morning we get our ultrasound and hold our breathes until we saw that beautiful flickering heartbeat! That moment was such a relief. The US tech explained everything to us, pointed everything out, told us the heart beat was 174 which is perfect, baby measured 9 weeks (I was 9 weeks and 2 days at that point so that was also perfect) and then she pointed out exactly where I was bleeding from. It was this dark spot in between the placenta and uterus that was 4.3 cm long. Another sigh of relief, it was nice to see the blood wasn't coming from inside the "baby's home" and we figured all was good. The Dr released the US result online and never even called me to discuss it so we figured we were good to go.

The next night, Wednesday at 1:30 am I wake up and go to the bathroom and TONS of red blood was in the toilet and 2 HUGE clots came out also. Surprisingly I didn't freak out, I think because I knew I didn't see any "product of the pregnancy" so I figured it was just that blood spot that was coming out. I woke up Nick to show him and called the on-call Dr even though I knew they would tell me to take it easy and there's not much else I can do- which is exactly what the Dr told me when she called back 5 minutes later. To say the least, we didn't sleep very good the rest of the night but went about our day going to work Thursday morning. I felt pretty crampy but at least I wasn't bleeding red in the morning, I was just spotting- but that was starting to be my norm with this pregnancy.

I wasn't even going to call Dr Cueto since I knew what he would tell me and that everything would be fine so I was just going to go about my business. But the more I thought about it, I started to worry that since that much blood came out I didn't know how that would affect the placenta "sticking" to the that side of the uterus, so I called to just ask that quick question. Well, I get a call back, and this time from Dr Cueto himself (he had not called me personally through all this yet) and he said I need to be on modified bed rest. Wait... what?! Did he just say bed rest? He continued on... I have what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage ( that was the dark spot on the US that I was bleeding from), it sounded like it might have come out when I went to the bathroom the night before and now there is a risk for the whole placenta disconnecting and that would obviously end the pregnancy. He's telling me this as I'm in the middle of work and had been running around all morning rooming patients like nothing was wrong. He said for the next 4 days I need to lay around, not do anything, not even drive, and I should definitely leave work right that moment. This is when it hits me and as I'm trying to explain to my coworkers why I need to leave I break down crying, this whole time we have been told not to worry, bleeding can be normal during pregnancy, and just take it easy with no sex or exercise and now they were really concerned which made me concerned. I kept feeling this whole pregnancy that things weren't right but they would just reassure me saying everything is fine and looked normal on my ER US (the hemorrhage was not present on the that US meaning it grew that big in only 11 days!), but now we're in danger of losing the baby. It was seriously too much to take in.

The last 4 days I have barely left the couch and I'm trying to get as much rest as I can. Thankfully the cramping has stopped and now I'm just spotting but at least it's not red blood, so that's a good sign. Of course after researching the hemorrhage all weekend, it seems like this might be a problem we deal with the whole pregnancy (God forbid!), it can get smaller and then larger again, or my body can totally absorb it and we won't have to worry about it anymore. I haven't been able to get any definite answers yet, we have a Dr appointment on Thursday and we'll get another US at that point. We are, of course, hoping the hemorrhage came out and everything reattached to the uterus just fine. At this point we still feel in limbo, the more days that pass without bleeding we get more hopeful, but we know we can't get to excited just yet. We were so excited to get pregnant and now with these problems we feel like we can't fully enjoy it, but hopefully we will soon. We also figure if this is the only problem we encounter through this whole experience then we feel blessed, some people have to deal with a lot more than we have had to, so, so far we feel pretty lucky that we keep getting the chance to get closer to bringing another baby into this world. Hopefully the following posts on this pregnancy will have a happier note from here on out!

To keep the pregnancy stats going:

Weight- 4lbs gained, of course I probably shouldn't have really gained any but according to recommendations 2-5lbs in the first trimester is ok, so I'm right on track. Now, 4 lbs doesn't seem like a lot but my clothes sure think so, everything is starting to fit weird and be uncomfortable so I'm trying to get a few items here and there to make it a little more comfortable until I need to wear maternity.

Mood/Feeling- I have been obviously having a roller coaster of emotions, we are trying to stay positive but it's hard to not be frustrated with everything going on. We go from super excited that everything is going to work out to freaked that it can all change in a moment, but we are taking it all one day at a time.

Food/Cravings- The last 2 weeks I have been more nauseous than ever, barely anything sounds good and I can only eat something that sounds good or I feel like I'm gonna puke. Cooking at home as been so hard since nothing sounds good so we've been eating out more than I would like, but right now it's all that sounds good. I also find, I'm getting full sooner but I keep eating since I know how hungry I was before I started eating, but if I eat too much then that food won't sound good for awhile. Things that I've been craving: mexican food (like every day), cereal, fruit, orange juice, and Italian food (recently I've made lasagna and chicken parm and both were delicious). Things I'm over at the moment: pizza, anything BBQ'd, and veggies are difficult to get down sometimes.

More to come, I'll update after our appointment on Thrusday!

Roller Coaster...

Well this weekend has been just that- a roller coaster of emotions. It all still feels like it must have been a dream, it couldn't have happened to us.

Friday morning I wake up to my alarm to get ready for work, I go to the bathroom and my pants felt wet, what the heck?! My first thought- did I pee my pants?? And that's when I see the wetness is tinged read, I sit on the toilet and a stream of blood comes out. I freak and start yelling for Nick, he runs in and knew instantly what was happening. We just sat in each other's arms and cried, couldn't even believe this was actually happening to us. We do everything right to make sure this baby was healthy, why would this be happening. I get up and check the bed, there was a blood spot the size of a CD right where I was laying, we knew there couldn't be a chance this could be saved.

I called the on call Dr since it was only 6:30 am at this point and she sent me to the ER. I called my parents and they came over to watch Hannah for us while we made that dreaded trip to the ER to see what we already knew was happening.

As we were checking in at registration the nurse that would be taking my vitals- was very visibly pregnant and of course I break down again. I know she felt so bad and just didn't have anything to say, because what can you say in this situation? Nothing would make it better. While waiting I give a urine sample, and I thought it was weird that no blood was coming out, but didn't give it much thought. I also thought it was weird that this whole time I have not been having any cramping, isn't that another big sign of what we thought was happening?

I give my sample, we get a bed, and wait around for while. The Dr comes in and explains everything that will happen that morning and then we wait some more. The waiting was the worst part, we didn't really know what to do with ourselves. The phlebotomist comes in to collect my blood. Then sometime later our nurse brings us to another room to wait for the ultrasound tech to get us. I told Nick that this was the first time that I was just NOT looking forward to an ultrasound and that made me so sad since ultrasounds during this time are supposed to be so much fun.

Finally the ultrasound tech brought us to another room and had me lay on the bed so he could do the abdominal US. As he's pushing the probe across my belly I ask him "Do you see anything?" and although I know the tech's are not allowed to say anything he turns the screen towards me and says "There's your little peanut". Wait, WHAT?! I thought, why on Earth would he even show me unless there was a glimmer of hope?! He turns the screen back to himself and continues his measurements, and I keep looking over at Nick for any sign of something good but he just kept shrugging his shoulders. Then the tech tells me to go to the bathroom and he will do the vaginal ultrasound after he finds a chaperon. As he leaves, Nick turns to me and says "I saw a heartbeat". OMG are you serious?? What does that mean? We were both more confused than ever.

I go to the bathroom- no blood, get undressed and wait for him to come back, along with him pregnant nurse, blah. Really could he not have found someone else? Anyway, ultrasound starts and he's getting measurements and then I hear nurse say "That's a heartbeat isn't it? Do you see it?" and Nick says "Yeah, I see that". The tech confirms in fact yes there is a heartbeat! I was to scared to move or ask to see so I just kept quiet and let him finish what he needed to do. But as I lay there I had hope that maybe there was still a chance.

Ultrasound is done and we go to the internal waiting room area and wait for what feels like 10 years before the Dr comes to get us. We were so confused, had no idea what was going on, should we be excited there was a heartbeat? Was the heartbeat even good? And finally the Dr brought us into a room to say that "You are still pregnant, there was a nice normal heartbeat, your lab levels all look good, your measuring at 7 weeks along (which I was almost 8 at that point so that made me worried), and we would consider this a threatened miscarriage". He told us to go home, rest and take it easy for 3 days, don't do anything really, and if you start bleeding to come back. He wasn't able to tell us either way if this would continue to be a viable pregnancy, he said it's good that I'm not bleeding or cramping at the moment but that doesn't mean it can't still happen. Also said to follow-up with my OB the following week.

To say the least we weren't very reassured. The numbers all looked great but all that blood that had been there that morning get popping in our heads. As soon as we get home I call the OB office to get my appointment scheduled, the nurse says she will call back after the Dr goes over all my ER information. The Dr said after looking at my numbers it all appeared to be a normal pregnancy. Really? The heartbeat was 146 bpm, which was good, my lab levels showed me to fall into the 6-8 weeks pregnant category, which I am so that's good. He also said since it all looked good I didn't even need to come in this week and I should just keep my normal appointment I had scheduled with Dr Cueto at the end of the month. Huh? This is all too much for my brain to process. This morning we left the hospital with a threatened miscarriage and now I have a normal pregnancy? The news from the OB was very reassuring, but I was still freaked out. I hate to go to the bathroom because I feel like things will change at any moment.

So I've just been taking it easy all weekend. I don't like the fact that I don't need to be seen until the end of the month. I just don't feel right and I can't relax. I get random twinges of pain, not even sure if it's something I need to worry about or not. But I called the on call Dr on Saturday and told him everything again and that I would feel better if I was seen this week so he said to go ahead and call Monday to schedule an appointment. I'm hoping I'll be able to get an ultrasound when I go in, I feel like I need to see that heartbeat and maybe it'll make me feel more relaxed about everything. I talked to our neighbor who is an L&D nurse and she said if I was miscarrying I would know it and that the bleeding was probably just a freak thing and I will go on to have a normal pregnancy. We've gotten so much reassurance from professionals but I still worry, and I just hope that at some point in this pregnancy I will be able to relax and enjoy everything. We are trying to look at this as a small hiccup in what will be a healthy pregnancy that will lead to a healthy baby. I feel like we were given another chance and it wasn't just taken away from us, we are so blessed and I pray it continues to go well. Any good thoughts sent our way are VERY appreciated. Now let's hope ths roller coaster evens out and starts to become fun again.