Where has the time gone???

My beautiful, tiny baby girl- where has time gone? I just left you at the neighbors to play, by yourself, for the first time... to put it mildly I'm sort of freaking out! While telling grandma that I just sent you there- to the house that is 2 doors down, that I can see into their backyard when I look just right out of our bathroom window on the second story- I almost started to cry. I'm realizing these last 3 1/2 years have gone by so quickly, it feels like just yesterday you were in your carseat ready for your 2-day check-up with the pedicatrician
but here you are now, 3 1/2 years old and can hardly wait to be 4 years old! I'll admit, at times I do want you to be older and a little more independent- to be able to bathe yourself, get a bowl of cereal in the morning by yourself, and maybe wash dishes from our dinner at night- but then I get these strong feelings of wanting to hold on to you and have you be young forever. Just today while I was cradling you, walking you up the stairs for your nap, I asked if you could always be my baby and you responded "I can stay little forever, for you mommy!"

Sometimes, I feel this time has gone so quickly because there were so many times that I wanted it to go quickly, is this my own fault? Did I not cherich every moment of 3 am feedings and screaming tantrums enough? No, of course I don't want those exact moments back, but being your parent has been the best experience and I would NEVER trade it for a second. Now I just can't help but think of how I need to stop wanting to see what is in the future and the things I can't wait to see you do because you're already growing up way too quickly.

Moving into this neighborhood, noticing all the young families with young kids, I was so excited to have you and the neighborhood kids play at eachothers house. Heck, for the past 6 months that we have lived here, every day after nap I'm always getting us outside to play and ride your bike or go on a walk and maybe we'll make a friend that is also outside. But I just never thought I would feel so overwhelmed with wanting to hold on to you more once you did make a friend and wanted to go to her house to play and out of the corner of your mouth say: "Mom, can you go? I wanna play here without you." So, finally after about 3 days of talking to the mom, and watching how Hannah and the little girl play, I finally let go and when I walked her down to her house, asked the older sister, then yelled out to the mom if it was ok for Hannah to play, I told her I would come by when it was time to come home- her eyes lit up and she asked "are you gonna let me play here without you?" and I said yes, she basically said "cool, don't let the door hit 'ya on the way out!" I now understand empty nest syndrome, I always figured by that point you would be kicking your kids out, but no way, I totally get it! Hannah has been playing for 35 minutes and I understand the empty nest syndrome... what do I do with myself??

Is it too soon to go get her? Undoubtedly, dragging her home kicking and screaming just wanting to run back to her friends house! Nah, I'll let her play another 2 minutes, 3 tops!